Tongue Tied
by ThoseWhoWander98
Summary: 'I need a little more luck than a little bit, like the perfect one word no one's heard yet, cause every time that I try I get tongue tied...' Snape tries to tell Lily he loves her.


_TONGUE TIED_

_I need a little more love than a little bit_

_Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet_

_And every time that I try I get tongue-tied _

_I need a little good luck to get me by this time_

"Lily," Snape said, looking at the girl in front of him. Her beauty was really staggering, he observed. With some effort, he shook sense back into his head.

"Yeah, Sev? What did you want to talk about?" Brushing her hair behind her ear, the thirteen-year-old Lily Evans watched cautiously the pale, dark-haired Slytherin in front of her. "I've got Charms in ten minutes, Sev, so if you could make this quick..." Much as Lily loved her best friend, sometimes she needed to get away from Snape—he was kind of clingy, and needy, and his other friends were... questionable, to say the least.

"Look, Lily—um, I was wondering—well... It's not that—I mean... our first Hogsmeade weekend's coming up." Snape could have hit his head against the wall. What kind of question was that? It was barely a complete sentence.

"Er, yeah," Lily said, puzzled. "I know. You and I should go! I'll ask Alice and Mary if they want to come with us, too... they're really looking forward to it! I suppose you could ask some of your friends, too... but not any of the creepy ones, please, Sev. Just... I don't know—Frankston seems okay, you could get him to come. Oh, I can't wait!" Lily beamed at Snape, who offered her a half-hearted smile in return.

"Erm, yeah, brilliant. I'll ask him. You'd better get to your class..." Snape watched Lily go, disappointed. How was he supposed to kindle a romance with Lily if he couldn't even get the words 'Come to Hogsmeade with me?' out of his mouth?

Stupid brain, he thought bitterly, gathering his things. He hoped to take a shortcut to Transfiguration and avoid Potter, who would probably make this bad day even worse by publicly humiliating him again...

Sighing, Severus Snape began the trek across the castle.

_I stare up at the stars, I wonder just where you are_

_You feel a million miles away_

_Was it something I said or something I never did,_

_Or was I always in the way?_

_Can someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?_

"Severus!" Lily tore towards him, her hair flying and her eyes bright. She threw herself into Snape's arms. "Sev!" she squealed, excited. "How was your summer? Are—are your parents okay?"

Snape bit his lip. "Dad's moved out." The words hung heavy in the awkward silence that followed.

"Oh, Sev," Lily finally said, sympathy swimming through her veins, "I'm sorry." She patted him on the back awkwardly, in a gesture that was clearly supposed to be comforting.

"I'm not," Snape said bitterly, looking away. "It's better without him. Happier. I don't know why she let him stay so long..." He trailed off into unhappy home memories. "But we're going back now!" he continued, his voice brightening happily.

"Yeah..." Lily said dreamily, gazing off across the platform. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "There's Alice and Mary—ew, they're with Potter, oh well—mind if I go say hi, Sev?" Not waiting for an answer, Lily began to walk away.

"Lily, wait!"

She swivelled around. "What is it, Sev?" Her green eyes were curious and also a little bit concerned. Frowning slightly, she cocked her head. "I want to say hi to my Gryffindor friends before we officially become fourth years!" Impatient, Lily began to tap her foot. Why did Severus take so long to say everything?

"I was wondering if you—that is to say, I really l—you're really—never mind," Snape said, all in one long, jerky sentence. Confused but indifferent, Lily turned away.

"All right, then, Sev! See you later, okay?" She raced away.

"Yeah," Snape said dejectedly, too quietly for Lily to hear. Again, he told himself. You were so close! Why can't you tell her?

A lump rose in his throat as he watched Lily greet her other friends—her normal friends, he told himself. He watched as she slapped James Potter, but he could tell—James Potter was watching Lily just as diligently as he, Severus Snape, was. Eyes narrowing, Snape lugged his trunk over to the train. He would find Lily and try to tell her again later.

And so, filled with a jealous hopelessness, Severus Snape boarded the Hogwarts Express.

_I need a little more luck than a little bit_

_Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet_

_Cause every time that I try I get tongue tied_

_I need a little good luck to get me by this time_

"Go away."

"Lily, come on! What did I do?"

"You— you're friends with those_ gits_! They're worse than Potter, honestly, they're evil. I can't believe you. It makes me sick, Sev, what they do to people. It's disgusting," Lily said contemptuously, her back to Snape. Snape made a face like he had just downed a glass of sour milk.

"Lily, that's just a joke, Alice will be all right, Madame Pomfrey can fix her up," Snape protested desperately. He couldn't lose Lily, not now, when he was so close to telling her he loved her... Not when he had nearly plucked up the courage.

"Well, it's not a funny joke, Sev, and how do I know you won't become a Death Eater—don't deny it—and become just as horrible as them? I notice you don't try and stop them when they're bullying Muggle-borns." Lily glared, her eyes full of fire.

Snape rolled his eyes. "That's just a few Mudbloods, Lily-,"

"THAT WORD!"

Snape leaned back as Lily whirled around to face him, screaming.

"I-I'm sorry, I won't call her that again, I'm sorry, Lily! Please, come on, forgive me." He gave her a pleading look.

"Well, fine. But I'm going to bed now, Sev, it's nearly curfew." Snape noticed the slight frostiness still in her voice, but decided that she'd forget about it come morning.

He walked down the stairs to the Slytherin Common Room, brooding on Lily. He'd been fighting with her so much more lately. It was that Potter's fault, he decided. He obviously loved her, and Lily obviously loved him—of course, Snape thought sourly, she didn't realize it, no...

He pulled out the hastily scratched note he had written at breakfast. _I love you ~ Sev._

His tongue between his teeth, Snape tore it up, tossing the pieces behind him as he entered the Common Room. After all, he told himself... what was the use?

_I know it feels like the end_

_Don't wanna be here again_

_And we can help each other off the ground_

_So we never fall down again_

Snape watched the retreating red hair. He knew instinctively that this was his last chance. "Lily!" he cried. She did not turn.

"I love you," he said as loudly as his broken heart could muster, knowing he would spend the rest of his life wondering if she had heard him.

_Cause every time that I try I get tongue tied, I need a little good luck to get me by this time_


End file.
